Okay so we don't want to show our underwear to just anyone, but we'll pretty much wear our bathing suits in front of anyone? I mean, these days, bathing suits are such that they cover less than underwear sometimes. So I'll walk around my boyfriend's house in a bathing suit where his friends can see me, but I won't walk around in my underwear? Why not? My underwear covers just as much as the bathing suit does. Hell a towel covers more than the bathing suit does too. And these days you have THONG bathing suits. Sheesh.
We should just go swimming in underwear. That'll save the hassle of shopping for a suit and will also save money. And it will probably make my boyfriend happier too.
Love seat
Why is a love seat called a "love" seat? One, there's not enough room to make love on it. Two, chances are, people who own a furniture set that includes a love seat probably have been together long enough to where they wouldn't even want to sit together on the "love seat."
So there you have it, it needs a new name.
So there you have it, it needs a new name.
Bathroom
Have you noticed how many people put magazines in their bathrooms? And not like 1 or 2, but there will be racks with like 10. I mean come ON, how much time are you planning on spending in the bathroom? You just want to sit on the toilet and read for a half an hour? Why not wait to go to the bathroom until you actually have to go, and then you can read more comfortably on your bed or the sofa? I must be crazy but hanging out in the bathroom is not quite my thing, sheesh.
Office Space
Have you seen the movie Office Space? Well, I experienced it yesterday even though I'm NOT working in a cubicle environment anymore. I have just a 6-mile commute to school and it took me 35 minutes, even with avoiding the freeway during morning traffic. There was a guy walking on the sidewalk who was going faster than me!
Then, something happened to me which I do not believe is in the movie. At a staff meeting, some people were sounding to me like Charlie Brown's mother (add sound effect here). I SWEAR, I cannot stand people who like to hear themselves talk. They think they're the shit and don't stick to the agenda. All they had to do was introduce themselves, describe their position, and give a brief description of their work experience and strengths. I swear these people were going on and on about so much more, to the point where I think I checked-out until I had to introduce myself.
For those who like to hear themselves talk: why don't you guys just record yourself once so that you can listen to yourself on tape whenever you want? That way you don't waste our time!
Then, something happened to me which I do not believe is in the movie. At a staff meeting, some people were sounding to me like Charlie Brown's mother (add sound effect here). I SWEAR, I cannot stand people who like to hear themselves talk. They think they're the shit and don't stick to the agenda. All they had to do was introduce themselves, describe their position, and give a brief description of their work experience and strengths. I swear these people were going on and on about so much more, to the point where I think I checked-out until I had to introduce myself.
For those who like to hear themselves talk: why don't you guys just record yourself once so that you can listen to yourself on tape whenever you want? That way you don't waste our time!
DVDs
I'm sorry, but I still don't see the benefit of DVDs over VHS tapes. First off, of all the DVDs I've watched, only ONE has had coming attractions. That is part of the fun of watching a movie, is seeing trailers. And, last night, the DVD we watched had the previews at the beginning, but then you don't really have the option of stopping the DVD and fast-forwarding through them if you want, the way you can with a tape. Yes, you can fast forward, or "search" as it's called, but it's still not that fast and you have to watch while it's doing it, as opposed to just stopping a tape and watching the counter while it fast-forwards. Oh yeah, and then at the end of the movie, the DVD kept freezing and skipping and so we had to start over, watch the damn trailers again, then skip the scene that had problems, and select the next scene. With tapes, you don't have the freezing and skipping problem, now do you? I can't tell you how many times I've had that problem with DVDs I've rented.
Second, many, even comedies, do not provide the option of viewing outtakes. Watching outtakes is a large part of the fun for me in watching anything. So if the DVD offers a menu of things to choose from, then WHY don't many offer the option of watching outtakes? What's the point of technology if it doesn't provide what it is perfectly capable of providing?
Third, not only are these two things often not options with DVDs, but they almost ALWAYS provide an option to view deleted scenes! Now if you notice, the deleted scenes usually suck and at least I anyway, don't get through watching them all. Well duh, they were DELETED scenes. They obviously for whatever reason were not kept in the movie. Otherwise they would not be deleted and they'd be IN the movie. So if they were deleted, why do we want to watch them? They need to be deleted from the DVD too for crying out loud.
Oh I get it, owning something just BECAUSE it's available in stores is a status symbol. Everyone HAS to have the latest technology without thinking about if there is truly a benefit. Fine, go ahead and make fun of me for still using my VCR and viewing my tapes, but remember that I have less of a chance of my movie getting interrupted.
Second, many, even comedies, do not provide the option of viewing outtakes. Watching outtakes is a large part of the fun for me in watching anything. So if the DVD offers a menu of things to choose from, then WHY don't many offer the option of watching outtakes? What's the point of technology if it doesn't provide what it is perfectly capable of providing?
Third, not only are these two things often not options with DVDs, but they almost ALWAYS provide an option to view deleted scenes! Now if you notice, the deleted scenes usually suck and at least I anyway, don't get through watching them all. Well duh, they were DELETED scenes. They obviously for whatever reason were not kept in the movie. Otherwise they would not be deleted and they'd be IN the movie. So if they were deleted, why do we want to watch them? They need to be deleted from the DVD too for crying out loud.
Oh I get it, owning something just BECAUSE it's available in stores is a status symbol. Everyone HAS to have the latest technology without thinking about if there is truly a benefit. Fine, go ahead and make fun of me for still using my VCR and viewing my tapes, but remember that I have less of a chance of my movie getting interrupted.
Condiments
Okay, I thought ketchup and mustard are found together, like salt and pepper. But I guess not cuz these days I only find ketchup on the table in restaurants. Ketchup? Why ketchup? Mustard is so much better. Ketchup is just sweet mushy tomatoes, when so many better things are made with tomatoes like salsa, pico de gallo, and pasta sauce. I ordered a veggie burger last night and I had to ask for the mustard. And the woman looked at me strangely when I asked and it took her a while to bring it! Doesn't ANYONE put mustard on their burgers anymore????
Not to mention the fact that my food was cold and the burger came with a side of COLD steamed broccoli with NOTHING on it. Talk about laziness on part of the chef. How hard is it to butter the broccoli just a TAD?
I mean hell, restaurants put ham in their "minestrone" soup and cheese in frickin' everything without asking-yuk!
Not to mention the fact that my food was cold and the burger came with a side of COLD steamed broccoli with NOTHING on it. Talk about laziness on part of the chef. How hard is it to butter the broccoli just a TAD?
I mean hell, restaurants put ham in their "minestrone" soup and cheese in frickin' everything without asking-yuk!
Terror alert
Notice how we're always hearing updates from the work that intelligence agencies are doing? Today the British intelligence agency decreased their terror threat warning from critical to severe. See any issues with this? Any? First off, how is severe "better" than critical? What does severe mean? That instead of security screens at the airport they'll just let anyone on the plane? And they report it with such confidence. HOW do they know to report the terror threat level? They do it like doing the weather for crying out loud, and it's almost as accurate (or inaccurate, depending on how you look at it). I mean, we didn't have a warning before Sept. 11th happened, yet it did, didn't it?
I guess with animal, instinctual drives, whether they be violence or sex, it's the same thing. It doesn't happen if you plan hard for it, it happens when you least expect it.
I guess with animal, instinctual drives, whether they be violence or sex, it's the same thing. It doesn't happen if you plan hard for it, it happens when you least expect it.
Twins
Why is it that parents dress their twin children up alike? It's like, "Look world, we have twins! Aren't they cute?!" I mean come on, is this some special feat? Don't get me wrong, I understand that caring for twins is twice the work and stress, but it's not like conceiving them took extra work.
And, if you think about it, it's the IDENTICAL twins who are dressed up alike. What, without the same clothes we can't tell they're identical twins?? We need the same outfits to realize the kids look alike? More importantly, wouldn't the parents want to dress them up differently so that they can tell them APART from each other??
And, if you think about it, it's the IDENTICAL twins who are dressed up alike. What, without the same clothes we can't tell they're identical twins?? We need the same outfits to realize the kids look alike? More importantly, wouldn't the parents want to dress them up differently so that they can tell them APART from each other??
The airport
Depending on how you look at it, the airport is either getting more frustrating, or funnier. I thought the point of self check-in stations were to SPEED UP check-in. But noooo, we have to stand in LINE to use those machines. And I didn't even have bags to check-in, I just needed to get my boarding pass. But to do so, I had to wait in line for like 25 minutes with others who had like 20 bags each. So then what's the point of the ticket counter employees? To answer any questions on how to use the machine? Then why have the machine? Your not self checking-in anymore if you need help from someone.
So finally after checking in I go to the bathroom before boarding the plane. Now, if we're supposed to keep our bags attended at all times, then why do the bathroom doors open INTO the stall? It's a pain in the ass trying to get two carry-on bags into the small stall with me so I can pee. Now I'm no genius, but if the doors opened OUT, then we could get the bags in easier and probably reduce the line for the ladies' room.
Then, the TOPPER is that I saw an Amish couple at the airport. Anyone see anything odd about this? The Amish at the airport?? I thought they live without technology and stuff. Isn't an airplane technological? Come to think of it, if there are a lot of Amish in Pennsylvania, and if they do like to travel (this couple is an example after all), you would think we'd be seeing more wagons on our streets.
THEN road rage and traffic accidents would make more sense, because we'd have to share the road with horse-drawn wagons.
So finally after checking in I go to the bathroom before boarding the plane. Now, if we're supposed to keep our bags attended at all times, then why do the bathroom doors open INTO the stall? It's a pain in the ass trying to get two carry-on bags into the small stall with me so I can pee. Now I'm no genius, but if the doors opened OUT, then we could get the bags in easier and probably reduce the line for the ladies' room.
Then, the TOPPER is that I saw an Amish couple at the airport. Anyone see anything odd about this? The Amish at the airport?? I thought they live without technology and stuff. Isn't an airplane technological? Come to think of it, if there are a lot of Amish in Pennsylvania, and if they do like to travel (this couple is an example after all), you would think we'd be seeing more wagons on our streets.
THEN road rage and traffic accidents would make more sense, because we'd have to share the road with horse-drawn wagons.
A girl's dream
Now I don't know how true this is in real life, but you hear in TV shows and movies all the time how little girls in grade school day dream about their perfect wedding, or what kids they will have, and sometimes even what they would name their kids. Is this possible? At this point girls still think boys are gross, and they're dreaming about their weddings? I mean I would think that kids of that age (who don't think to far into the future) have other things to think about.
When I was eight, my goals were getting ice cream, trying to get my parents to buy me a Cabbage Patch doll, and keeping my sister away from my toys.
When I was eight, my goals were getting ice cream, trying to get my parents to buy me a Cabbage Patch doll, and keeping my sister away from my toys.
Pizza slices
Have you ever wondered whose brilliant idea it was to cut pizza into squares? And then have you ever wondered WHY?? I ate a yummy pizza the other day, but the experience was less than perfect because it was cut into SQUARES. Once you get to the inside of the pizza, there's no crust to hold onto while eating, making it a more messy experience. I mean someone like me who is a messy eater as it is needs all the help she can get with keeping her fingers from drowning in sauce. And furthermore, you don't get the satisfaction of eating a pizza with the squares; it feels more like pizza when it's a triangular slice that takes a bit longer to finish (I like to nurse my food and drinks).
This is probably the stupidest thing I've seen since the Clearasil commercials trying to tell you that using the product will reduce pimples in 5 days (uh DUH, the pimples go away in about 5 days with or without the Clearasil, thank you very much).
This is probably the stupidest thing I've seen since the Clearasil commercials trying to tell you that using the product will reduce pimples in 5 days (uh DUH, the pimples go away in about 5 days with or without the Clearasil, thank you very much).
Cable
Ever notice how even with like 200-something channels with cable or satellite, there's still nothing to watch? You flip around just as much. And why do we need like 10 sports channels, 5 golf channels, 8 news channels, and 15 cooking channels? In our fast-food, go-go lifestyle, do people really try out all those recipes? And every news channel talks about what's going on in the middle east, but I don't think they give us new information. It's just more people dying, more bombs, more killings, more bombs, more killings, more hostages, more hostages, more bombs, more killings, more killings....
Instead, there should be like 8 Seinfeld channels, each starting with a different season, and then airing the shows in order, so you can pick at what point you want to watch the series. Now THAT would be worth it.
Instead, there should be like 8 Seinfeld channels, each starting with a different season, and then airing the shows in order, so you can pick at what point you want to watch the series. Now THAT would be worth it.
Sear's Tower
So Sear's Tower is the tallest building in the US, and something like the third tallest in the world. But when we approached it this past weekend while sightseeing, it was disappointing. It's kind of funny what we tend to expect when approaching such a building: that we are not going to be able to see the top, like Jack's beanstalk? And then you spend like an hour and a half in line to buy tickets (which are a useless $15) and stuff, just to get to the top only to spend like 15 minutes up there. Yeah, it's the tallest building in the US, but I'm sorry, after a certain height, the view is the same no matter how high up you are. And then why are people striving to get that high up only to waste change in those telescopes to try to see things closer up? You could see those things closer before; isn't the reason you went up to the tower is to see them from a distance?
And how egotistical of those who operate Sears Tower. The only reason it's the tallest structure is because of the height of it's towers on top. It's not like the floors go up that high. But the pamphlet they give you says "view the world." Good God. We can be so pompous in this country. Like the World Series. Come on, the World Series? Aren't they just the US national baseball finals?
Well, in that case, I'm like 5'8" (if my hair stood straight up) and you can call me Empress of the Universe, thank you very much.
And how egotistical of those who operate Sears Tower. The only reason it's the tallest structure is because of the height of it's towers on top. It's not like the floors go up that high. But the pamphlet they give you says "view the world." Good God. We can be so pompous in this country. Like the World Series. Come on, the World Series? Aren't they just the US national baseball finals?
Well, in that case, I'm like 5'8" (if my hair stood straight up) and you can call me Empress of the Universe, thank you very much.
Competition
Ever notice how passionate people can get when playing a friendly card or board game? I mean, even when we're not playing for money or anything, it can get pretty heated when I play games with friends. We were playing Yuker the other day and the dealer ended up having to call the trump. She was so upset and said something to the effect of, "So are we going to fuck the dealer?" Does it constitute fucking the dealer if no money is involved??? I mean her nonverbals were like she was jeapordizing so much. I'll admit I like to win, but the most fun for me is the bantering and laughter while playing.
Yet, on a game like Jeapardy, they're playing for money but still the game doesn't lead to arguments. I mean they're playing for money! But the people on that show are so stoic, it's hilarious. Now with a game like football it makes sense to have fighting or violence given what the game involves. Or over time we come to expect fights at a hockey game. But what would be really funny and entertaining would be to see verbal battles in Jeapardy: "You fucking asshole, the only reason you're winning is because you get all the easy answers!"
That might motivate those who don't normally watch the show to tune in and increase their general knowledge.
Yet, on a game like Jeapardy, they're playing for money but still the game doesn't lead to arguments. I mean they're playing for money! But the people on that show are so stoic, it's hilarious. Now with a game like football it makes sense to have fighting or violence given what the game involves. Or over time we come to expect fights at a hockey game. But what would be really funny and entertaining would be to see verbal battles in Jeapardy: "You fucking asshole, the only reason you're winning is because you get all the easy answers!"
That might motivate those who don't normally watch the show to tune in and increase their general knowledge.
Excuse me
Why do we bother to say "excuse me" after we sneeze, cough or fart? I mean come on, what is going to happen if the person doesn't excuse us? I doesn't really matter does it, if it has already happened.
Duh.
Duh.
Tennis skirts
Why do female tennis players wear those silly skirt/skort things? I mean in this day and age, women are now wearing pants and shorts like men in their day-to-day lives, but when playing a SPORT which involves running around, we expect them to wear something that looks like a skirt?
Why don't they just wear shorts?
Why don't they just wear shorts?
Coffee and Bailey's
Doesn't putting Bailey's Irish creme in coffee defeat the purpose of coffee? I thought the purpose of coffee was to wake you up, to stimulate you. So then you put liquor in it, which is a depressant? If I want to get drunk, doesn't it make more sense to have a drink that's going to get me there faster? And if I want to wake up after going only on five hours of sleep, don't I want just coffee to wake me up for the day's rat race? Not to mention the fact that the creme ruins the taste of coffee.
So do people put Bailey's in coffee to see which one's going to win, the coffee or the liquor? Has anyone found the answer and care to share?
So do people put Bailey's in coffee to see which one's going to win, the coffee or the liquor? Has anyone found the answer and care to share?
Pens
Okay, one key reason why we're such lazy-asses and don't get much accomplished is because people cannot frickin' figure out how to put PENS in their purses or backpacks, and spend too much time looking for one. If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me to borrow a pen, I could probably fund my graduate education (yeah right). Anyway, when I worked the front desk of a counseling center at school, I always had students asking if they could borrow a pen. But you're a STUDENT who spends ALL day here! HOW were you planning on getting any work done? And then we'd run out of pens for clients to use to fill out their paperwork-argh.
I co-facilitated a focus group this morning and my partner didn't have a pen, and I was thinking: "But you're carrying a huge ass purse! What the hell is in there if there's no pen???" Pens are one thing we all should have right? Especially when that's about ALL companies give out for free when they're promoting themselves.
So, because we care more about and put more effort into having sex, pens should just be packaged along with condoms. How much am I gonna get for this brilliant idea???
I co-facilitated a focus group this morning and my partner didn't have a pen, and I was thinking: "But you're carrying a huge ass purse! What the hell is in there if there's no pen???" Pens are one thing we all should have right? Especially when that's about ALL companies give out for free when they're promoting themselves.
So, because we care more about and put more effort into having sex, pens should just be packaged along with condoms. How much am I gonna get for this brilliant idea???
Basketball
Isn't it funny how with really tall people, people assume they played basketball, or will play basketball? And they assume that just cuz someone is tall, they'd be good at basketball?
Well DUH, the taller someone is, the greater chance they have of making the basket. It's not rocket science folks. Isn't it more of a feat if a short person plays basketball? Or, why can't there be a basketball game created for those 5'5" and shorter? And to level the playing field when comparing them with the taller players, the basket can just be lowered.
Well DUH, the taller someone is, the greater chance they have of making the basket. It's not rocket science folks. Isn't it more of a feat if a short person plays basketball? Or, why can't there be a basketball game created for those 5'5" and shorter? And to level the playing field when comparing them with the taller players, the basket can just be lowered.
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