Friday, August 28, 2015

Breakfast in Bed

I don't understand breakfast in bed. I prefer to be comfortable while eating such as sitting upright at a table. Not to mention first needing my coffee, needing my stomach to wake up and feeling some hunger.

But what's really gross is who eats breakfast with still having morning breath? Or sleep in their eyes? Or a full bladder?

Then heck, why stop there? Why bother getting dressed or grooming before you leave the house?

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Cheese pizza?

Why cheese pizza? Especially when you can get all kinds of yummy toppings? I can understand children liking something as simple as cheese pizza, but adults? Plus you get more for your money if you get a pizza with toppings! why! why! why!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Cloth bags at the grocery store

People, including me, have taken cloth bags to the grocery store for a while now in order to save plastic. Very green decision, blah blah blah.

Yet, why are the store baggers still complete knuckleheads when using them? When using plastic bags they are so wasteful - often times using a bag for just one small item.

Yet, when I give them 5 cloth bags, they pack 1 or 2 to the gills, leaving the other 3 unused and giving me 2 really heavy bags. I have bags of various sizes, including a really large one in which I stuff the others when I take them to the store. This led one guy to ask me "Ma'am, do you want everything in this big bag?"  !!!!!!!!!!!!  It took all the restraint I could muster to not say what I was thinking: "You are a mother fucking moron."

It's amazing that the human race has accomplished anything, let alone space exploration or nuclear fusion. Maybe miracles DO exist!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Sex and finances

A long time ago someone had told me that the 2 things that strain a romantic relationship are sex and finances. And as I've been thinking about it recently, that's true of almost any relationship actually:

-With your parents: you disagree or fight about how to manage your finances and when and with whom you should have sex.

-With your friends: you fight when one gets to have sex and not the other, and often there is the friend who manages to not pay their fair share.

-With your siblings: when one is lucky with sex, the other is lucky with money, but neither seem to have both.

-And even with your computer: FB reminds you of all the people who are having sex when you're not, and technology in our lives often means higher bills.

So I figure, if these two things get in the way of our lives, it only makes sense that everyone go into prostitution. Have sex, on your terms, with financial retribution.

I might need to rethink my career choice.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

t-shirt

Why is a t-shirt called a t-shirt? It doesn't look like a t! It looks more like pi. It should be called a pi-shirt.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Evaporated milk

What's the deal with evaporated milk? If it were evaporated, how come I can pour it into the batter?

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Fun size

So what's the deal with smaller-sized M&M packs being called the "fun size"?? I thought MORE M&M's was fun, not LESS.