Sunday, January 28, 2007

Grad student

You know you're a grad student when things like loading the dishwasher or doing laundry are breaks from work.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Fees

So now they have a September 11th security fee as part of the charges of a plane ticket. Can you believe this? They're charging customers for something that's already part of their job anyway, to protect them. I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but security existed prior to September 11th, yes? I swear, any stupid, fucking reason to make money off of people. No wait, it's not a stupid reason, it's a sad one actually, using a tragedy mind you, to make money.

Well hell, if organizations want to capitalize on others' tragedies when it is normally their JOB anyway, then why the fuck can't I charge people for their screw-ups? And I'm not talking about just any screw-up, but ones that affect work deadlines and my productivity. Here are my charges for each time the event happens:

-Not returning phone calls: $50
-Not returning emails: $1000 (this is easier because you don't have to actually talk to people, so less of an excuse, and higher charge for this one)
-Not doing your job period: $1500
-Being an annoying little cricket who just likes to hear themselves talk: $5000
-Using poor students to do something that you as an instructor should be taking care of: $20,000
-Being condescending: $25,000
-Not knowing how to use your turn signal: $50,000

I'd be a millionaire by now.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Phlegm

Now I know that when you cough up or blow out clear phlegm it's a good thing, means no infection and you're healthy. But I have to say, I feel better if I hack up something interesting that's more yellow or green. Because then it makes the cough, or blowing my nose, feel so much more productive. I mean sometimes I'm doing it so often that it seems futile if the stuff is clear, but it's more interesting if I have some colors to see.

Well, green is my favorite color. :)

Friday, January 19, 2007

Tomato soup

Why is tomato soup so special and why do people like it so much? It's kind of bland if you think about it, nothing of substance in it. It's not really a food item. Other more filling soups can be considered as food, like minestrone or gumbo, but isn't tomato soup just hot tomato juice?

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Chicken

A friend of mine brought up such a good point today:

If everything tastes like chicken, then what does chicken taste like???

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Shopping carts

We can put a man on the moon, but in the past 5 years, I think I have used only one shopping cart at the grocery store that was easy to push.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Panda Express

It's amazing how despite how long we've had the knife, that some things are cut too big for us to be able to eat. I was at the airport craving Panda Express, and one of the things I got was veggie stir fry. Anyone want to explain to me WHY the broccoli pieces are so fucking huge? HOW do they expect us to eat them? And, they're not easy to cut with a PLASTIC knife mind you. Is it too much to ask to cut them smaller before making the stir fry?