Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Fees

So now they have a September 11th security fee as part of the charges of a plane ticket. Can you believe this? They're charging customers for something that's already part of their job anyway, to protect them. I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but security existed prior to September 11th, yes? I swear, any stupid, fucking reason to make money off of people. No wait, it's not a stupid reason, it's a sad one actually, using a tragedy mind you, to make money.

Well hell, if organizations want to capitalize on others' tragedies when it is normally their JOB anyway, then why the fuck can't I charge people for their screw-ups? And I'm not talking about just any screw-up, but ones that affect work deadlines and my productivity. Here are my charges for each time the event happens:

-Not returning phone calls: $50
-Not returning emails: $1000 (this is easier because you don't have to actually talk to people, so less of an excuse, and higher charge for this one)
-Not doing your job period: $1500
-Being an annoying little cricket who just likes to hear themselves talk: $5000
-Using poor students to do something that you as an instructor should be taking care of: $20,000
-Being condescending: $25,000
-Not knowing how to use your turn signal: $50,000

I'd be a millionaire by now.

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