Monday, November 28, 2005

Runaway truck

So I drove to my mom's this past weekend and on the highway there are these "Runaway Truck Ramps." That just infuriates me. These trucks use up a shit-load of fuel, crap up the environment, get a better view while driving, and are bullies of the road. And on top of that they get a runaway ramp?!!! I want a runaway ramp. Why can't 4-door sedans have a ramp? There are a lot of things I'd run away from (a horrible date, the coworker who makes me roll my eyes more than I have ever done in my life, cops...)

And then there are the "Do not enter when flooded" signs. Now are those really necessary? I mean do we need signs that say "Don't pull my cat's tail" or "Don't stick your hand in the washer when it's running" or "Don't ask more questions that can lead to the class staying longer" ? Actually, with all the dorks in my classes this semester, the latter probably is needed...

Pointless

I don't get why people concern themselves with things that aren't going to hurt them. It's pointless. For example, what do heterosexuals have against gay marriage? I have this great button that says "Against gay marriage? Don't marry one!" Couldn't have said it better myself.

Though I'm certainly not exempt from getting irritated with things that don't have anything to do with me. For example, I was sitting in class today and the hair of the woman sitting in front of me annoyed me to no end. The top layers were curly and the bottom layers were straight. I mean I know, it's HER hair, who cares???? But it was distracting and annoying. I mean, why not curl ALL the hair? Or, straighten ALL the hair? But who in their right mind thinks only some curly hairs looks good?

You can tell this was a mind-boggling, interesting and captivating class. I'll just leave it at that.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Apathy,

is so underrated. I mean hearing "positive attitude" "keep being your cheery self" or "your smile is a breath of fresh air" constantly, that starts to sound really cheesy, like weddings, Hallmark cards and Christmas music.

I mean, if you think about it, you're probably more effective when you're apathetic than anything else. You're not stressed, and you act more like yourself because you're natural. Even when you're drunk, though you're uninhibited, you're still either an ass or really annoying. But with apathy, you can be in control and effective at the same time. I mean when you're drunk and you ask a guy out, you run the risk of people saying "what a slut, she'll give anything away to go out with him." But you don't hear anyone say "Jeez, she was so apathetic that she...."

Hey, I didn't say I cared enough to give all the punchlines-you finish this on your own!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Useless #2

Well, hmm, I'm not quite sure if people would not know this, so I'm a little hesitant to say. But I guess there is always the possibility of someone not understanding, so maybe I will go ahead and say it: redoing the walls inside the elevator does NOT help it's functionality (i.e., it coming down when you press the button, the door closing after you select the floor you're going to, and it MOVING after the door closes). But I guess I should be thankful for the new walls. Yeah, call me "hard to please."

Useless

So if you do a cost-benefit analysis of all the damn photocopiers in the world, it's probably a wash or not beneficial at all. When I need to make 50 copies of a 10-page document and collate and staple them, the damn thing jams. When I need to make 20 copies of a 2-sided page back-to-back, the damn thing jams. When I need to make 10 copies of a 1-sided page the damn thing jams. But I guess I should credit it for being able to make 2 copies of a 1-sided page, though I can just use the PRINTER for that.

Oh I get it, copiers are in existence so that the repair technicians can have jobs. Well, glad to see that needed jobs are being created, as opposed to the useless ones like social workers or college instructors.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Zoo

I went to the zoo over the weekend. It's kind of funny..you spend like $14 to walk around and take a chance at maybe seeing some animals. I can walk around my neighborhood without paying the 14 bucks. And the animals you do see don't even want us there. They have these looks on their faces like "Great, here come the humans. Look at their sad faces as they get excited about seeing a bird in a cage." I mean, they're caged up. They're probably cursing us like nobody's business when they see us, and they're plotting on how they can get the hell out of there. And most of the time, we show up at an exhibit or whatever you want to call it, and because the animals don't care to see us, they hide and we just end up looking at a big mound with a hole in the side.

Ridiculous

I cannot tell you HOW many times I've forgotten to ask someone a question I really want to ask them when I see them in person. When we run into each other we shoot the breeze, joke around, or if it's someone I don't like, my excellent acting skills would never make you guess I don't care for them. And then I come home, sit at my computer, and EMAIL them the simple little question. I'm all for computers and technology and all, and I can't say that it hasn't made my life tons easier, but now we are just having relationships with our computers, not other people. Pretty soon we'll be having sex over email too. Kinda like, I forgot to hump him when I saw him at home after work. Then he went out for a night on the town with his buddies and I emailed him saying "Ooo baby, yes, yes, yes, more, do that more!!!!"

The topper is when people have conversations over email. No, I don't mean instant messenger, of course that's a conversation on-line, I mean when people rsvp to a meeting, hit reply to ALL and simply say "I'll come." Folks, feel free to just hit REPLY without the "all" to tell someone you're coming to a meeting. Otherwise my inbox is filled with a bunch of messages that are one-liners saying "yes", "I'll come" , "that's funny!" or "shut up." And I didn't even open my mouth to deserve the last one.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Candy

Does anyone but me get overwhelmed in the candy isle at the store? I mean it's like, it's supposed to be fun, shopping for candy and all, but for a meticulous nerd like me, I stand there looking at all my options and try to use the process of elimination to get to one "perfect" candy to buy for the week rather than just getting what I feel like getting. And now it's even more complicated; not only do you have the peanut M&M's and the dark chocolate Hershey's bar, but now you have the Hershey's bar with M&M's, Reeces Pieces with peanuts, and peanut butter M&M's, which I just found out about a couple days ago (yes folks, I don't know where I've been, but I just found out about the existence of peanut butter M&M's). So then I think, well I had M&M's last week, so this week I'll have Reeces Peanut Butter Cups, but then there are M&M's with peanut butter inside too!

So then, at what point can you say you're eating M&M's? What's the difference between those and Reeces Pieces with peanuts inside? After a while the brand name has no meaning cuz they're all using peanuts and chocolate. And I mean how many things can you do with peanuts and chocolate? And the topper is white chocolate. I'm sorry, but for a real chocolate lover, white chocolate is just yoghurt-type coating crap. I mean I'm sorry, but white chocolate Kit Kat is just ruining Kit Kat.

And that's all I have to say about that.