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Abercrombie & Fitch

I so do not get the hipe about Abercrombie & Fitch, and Banana Republic, and whatever other fancy smancy brand names there are for clothes. And the names are so unique that at first I thought the clothes would look distinctive, like if I saw someone wearing something from Abercrombie & Fitch, I would know that's what it is. But I walk by the store in the mall and the clothes don't look special at all. Today I saw a woman wearing a pink t-shirt that said Abercrombie & Fitch and I thought, "That's a regular old t-shirt. How the hell is it different than a pink t-shirt I'd buy at Target?!" So I guess all that matters is that the name is on the shirt. Okay, well, in that case, maybe I just needed to paint "BMW" on my Geo Metro when I was in college, or paint my current Honda Civic with "Lexus."

Underwear

Now this comment probably isn't what you're expecting. Yes, it's about underwear, but more about the fact that these days it has become overwear. I can deal with pajama bottoms being worn to class, but what the #@!! is up with lingerie tops being worn as blouses?!!! Today I saw a woman wearing a slip as a skirt. Come on folks, we have totally gone overboard here. Pretty soon we'll just go out in actual underwear until finally we go out naked all together. Now if you want to see a world scarier than the one we have, that would be it.

How do you like them apples?

Apples? Why apples? I wouldn't think they are people's favorite fruit. There's a whole other list of things I could say instead like "How do you like them mangoes? How do you like them grapes? How do you like them chocolate chips?"

Or, where did "that's just bologna" come from? I'm vegetarian now but when I did eat meat, I liked bologna, don't most people? Doesn't it make more sense to say "that's just brocolli" ? Though, I do like brocolli...

Ginger Ale

Why is it called Ginger Ale if it doesn't taste like ginger? Or ale?

Coughing

So we care about people when they sneeze. We say "bless you." I much prefer to say "Salud" which is Spanish for "health." Makes so much more sense because sneezing could mean the person is sick, or coming down w/ something, etc., okay so you catch my drift.

But I love how with coughing we don't show any concern. How is it different from sneezing in terms of severity? I mean the person could be dying and we don't say anything. I know with me, if I'm at the movies and someone is coughing uncontrollably, I'm thinking "shut the #@!! up!"

The solution

Violence is the answer,
it's all about winning,
and it's not a lie if you really believe it.

I guess now that I've figured it out, I can be a world leader.