Thursday, March 30, 2006

Crochet

So last Saturday I got a chance to play crochet for the first time at a friend's birthday party. Well, the first time in that I was old enough to actually remember how to play the game. And it got me thinking: whose brilliant idea was it to create a game like this?? Is it supposed to be relaxing? How is trying to get the little ball through the wicket relaxing?? And wicket, that's an interesting word. Say it often enough and it loses all meaning. Wicket. Wicket. Wicket. Same thing with golf, I'm sorry, I don't get it. Trying to get the little ball into the hole frustrates me more than it relaxes me. Oh yeah, and then they show golf tournaments on tv??!! Man, that's exciting, I'm going to sit on my couch watching a golf player take 15 minutes to concentrate on the ball before hitting the damn thing. Invigorating.

Now with sex, there can be frustration involved with that, but at least there is a chance for an exciting outcome, a peak. Not just getting the thing into the hole.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Veggie Pizza

Okay, so only veggie pizza should exist, not any pizza with meat. Oh my gosh, why such a drastic statement you ask? Well, first off, yes, I'm vegetarian. I don't have anything against the people who eat meat (the act of eating meat, well, that's a different matter) but if they love meat so much answer me this: WHY do they always go after the veggie pizza when they have a choice? They always say it looks and tastes better, eat that without being cognizant of the vegetarians who can't eat the meat pizza, and end up getting more food. And why in the world do they want to eat more??? So many fucking calories in the meat pizza and on top of that they want to eat my veggie pizza? Are they not embarrassed at all? Buncha gluttons...

So that's why only veggie pizza should exist, because everyone likes it and then the vegetarians won't get screwed. Maybe doing away with the pig and intestines from the menu (aren't people grossed out by that by the way?) we'll have a healthier population here in the US too.

Uh huh, didn't think you'd have a come back for that one.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Rats

Have you noticed how people are always taking results from experiments done on rats and applying them to humans? I mean, I know as humans we can be pretty despicable, but being compared to rats, now that's just lowest of the low isn't it?

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Clothes

Okay, just wanting to make sure I understand now, that the goal of wearing clothes is to cover whatever part of your body you want covered and then move on with your day and forget they're there, right? Or I gather that's the general idea?

Then why the HELL do some women wear certain tops if they constantly have to check them to make sure their boobs are covered adequately? This girl who sat across from me in a seminar today (who for the most part I cannot stand by the way, for most reasons which I won't go into here) was constantly looking down at her chest and adjusting her top. And it was one of those criss-cross-type tops where each side wraps over each boob individually. And so she'd look down, and pull the blouse up. If I had a nickel for every time she did it...and don't get me started on the flipping of the hair and the constant "like, you know what I mean? like,..." (you'll have to imagine I'm saying that in a valley girl way).

You also have the shorts that are too short and the girls pull those down against their legs. I mean they might as well be picking at a wedgy all the time!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Thin mints

I love this time of year: Girl Scout cookies. At least you feel like your money is being spent (and pounds added to your body) for a good cause. But, why are the Thin Mints called Thin Mints? They're not really that thin. If they are thin, then what are the mints you get at Olive Garden? They are much thinner than these cookies-so they should be called Thinner Mints? Or potato chips are thinner than the Girl Scout Thin Mints aren't they? Then shouldn't they be called "thin potato chips"?

Do fat mints exist? Quite honestly, I haven't seen mints thicker than the Girl Scout Thin Mints. Has someone else seen them and I just happen to not know about them?

Anybody?

The American People

Have you noticed that people in this Bush administration are always saying "The American People" ? I mean it's getting corny and annoying isn't it? I mean, American people. Well that's good that they're specifying that because otherwise we'd think they meant American donkeys.

Well, wait come to think of it, no we wouldn't. Given how little this administration seems to care about the people of this country, maybe unless they specify we would think they meant the donkeys. Okay, I get it now.