Sunday, May 18, 2008


The more that I think about it, I don't see the point to marriage. You have to see each other first thing in the morning with morning breath, have to hear the other person fart, have to fight about finances and cleaning the house, and have to always make compromises so no one partner gets exactly what they want all the time.

Doesn't it make more sense to be officially independent and just date? I mean if marriage were so great, why do we hear more complaints about it than positive comments? Think about it, those who are married really only want the "dating" aspect of the marriage anyway. Because rather than do things together as PARTNERS (which is what I thought marriage is) people want to hire help for things such as housecleaning just to avoid fighting about it. Wouldn't it strengthen your relationship if you tried to do such things together and have fun with it? So if you don't want to do anything together other than the typical fun things, aren't we just left with dating anyway?

The wedding vows should really be, "Do you promise to put up with each other until death parts you? And try to sprinkle some fun in between."


Heat said...

you don't actually have to fight about any of those things. tom and i, as a rule, don't fight about either housecleaning or finances.

no one gets all of exactly what they want all the time anyway.

if you're dating and spend the night together, you're going to be subject to morning breath, and if you date long enough or go out to eat at the right places, you're going to hear each other fart.

i have heard more complaints than compliments about college, about marriage, about every job i have ever talked to anyone about, about driving, about just about everything ... but we still do them, and they still have value, and they're still worth doing.

i don't know who you're talking to who doesn't want to do anything together except typical fun things, but i don't know of anyone like that...

but if that's your view of marriage, you definitely should not get married.

Felda, Jerry Seinfeld's Biggest Fan said...

Oh dear, what have I started? ;) Of COURSE I know all those things, it's mostly a joke. Almost any bit any comedian has ever had can be disputed. They're just observations that have a tiny bit of truth to them which makes them funny. At least I tried to be funny (obviously didn't succeed ;) ) by using the terms fart and morning breath, because of COURSE they are minute when you're talking about truly loving someone in marriage.

These are based on my observations over many years of many couples. They probably have a great relationship at home that I don't see, but these are just things I've seen on the surface. I think because it's easier to complain than stay positive a lot of times.

I actually take the idea very very seriously and that's probably the reason why I don't know if I'm the marriage type. I'm willing to acknowledge what's involved and that I might not be ready. But it's certainly not for petty things such as these.

With that said, I won't comment on your "spelling bee" comment. ;)

Archangel Gabrielle said...

This is an interesting post because where I work, all I ever hear is bitching about spouses.

One time, after several long diatribes from different co-workers to this effect, I asked the assembled, "Do any of you find it ironic that the only person who never complains about their partner is the lesbo in the room who does not enjoy the equal right of marriage?" That shut them up, but after reading this I got to thinking, maybe the fact that we CAN'T get married is the reason we have the best relationship!

I report, you decide.

Felda, Jerry Seinfeld's Biggest Fan said...

Great comment Gabrielle!