Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Opportunity

In America, opportunity knocks around every corner...



...at the Walgreens.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Western photos

Those country western family photos you can get taken at touristy places are so stupid aren't they? I mean, what's the point? It's like, I'm not a cowboy, but here's what I WOULD look like if I WAS one. You know, in case you were wondering.

Ice cream shops

WHY are ice cream shops so cold?? I mean yes, I get it, they need to keep the ice cream cold. But folks, just because we have to keep the stuff in our kitchen freezers frozen doesn't mean we keep our houses at 65 degrees or always have the fans running, do we? But you go into an ice cream shop and you have to put on your ski-wear when you're eating the ice cream (and what is UP with all the fans blowing??).

I mean you would think that if they wanted to sell more ice cream, they'd keep it a tad warmer to motivate customers to buy more. Am I crazy?

Friday, January 04, 2008

Moral of the story

Ever notice how children's short stories, or fables, end with the sentence, "The moral of this story is..." I mean does that need to be explicitly stated? Doesn't putting it bluntly at the end take away from it? Especially since the moral of the story is usually so obvious. Does anyone NOT get that slow and steady won the race for the tortoise? Or that the man and his son with their donkey should just do their own thing? So why read the entire story and why not just skip to the moral?

It seems that such summarizations would be more useful in other areas, like the 5-page car rental documents we sign, or the 10-page housing rental agreements. Why don't they just make it easier on us and say in bold letters at the bottom, "Let's put it to you this way: you make one scratch and you are charged an arm and a leg!"

Now in DATING wouldn't such summarizations be helpful?! I wish there could be words on your date's forehead that expresses his thoughts such as, "Why are we even going through this formality of dinner? I just want to see you naked." Or why go through the effort of sex in most cases, right? What if we somehow had a summary on the bed that said, "Trust me, you're NOT going to orgasm!"

Then that's one book we wouldn't open and save ourselves some time.