Friday, December 31, 2010

Snoopy,

is the baking soda of comic strips. Ooo, look at me, I can do this, I can do that. I can cook, coach ice skating, sew a costume, sing, dance. If he's such an expert on everything why doesn't he help Charlie Brown kick the football at least once?

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

My cat,

is cute and beautiful and gives cute kisses, and even has a sweet voice when she's not talking my ear off. But it's really hard to find her cute when she wants to hog the entire frickin couch. So when I get home after a hard day and want to eat dinner on my couch in front of the tv, she gets nudged off, end of story. Hey, I pay the bills and clean up after myself, does she? Plus she got to sit on the entire couch all frickin day. If I were living with a human being I'd ask them nicely if I could have alone couch time.

So it's not my fault she speaks cat and not English.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Imperfections

One of my favorite parts of the Seinfeld show is how the four of them break up with people over silly little reasons. It's hilarious to see all those clips put together in the show's finale:



He's a re-gifter!
She's a two-face.
She's bald.
He's poor.
He's a close talker.
He's a high talker.
She can't hear very well out of her left ear.
She eats her peas one at a time!
She's too tall.
She's too good.
She wasn't my type.

Some other reasons they break up with people include not eating pie, not offering pie, not keeping a bathtub clean, and not using an exclamation point in a sentence.

Hilarious. Well I've got one to add to the list: drinking soda out of a coffee cup. WHY???? Why would anyone do this? He was over at my house and didn't want to drink his soda out of the can so I told him he could help himself to a glass in the cupboard. WHAT does he take out? A coffee cup! There were LOTS of glasses to choose from! (shakes head in confused disgust)

In my defense, I already knew I wasn't that into him before that incident. It just happened to be that after that incident I broke up with him. So perhaps unlike the chumps on the show, I'm not a total lost cause. ;)