The last word

Computers are kinda like health insurance, in our day-to-day lives. We need them, but they also cause a lot of grief and are often not very helpful. Like when an application freezes and I hit control-alt-delete to get to the task manager to try to end the program, THAT is when a message comes up saying "Word is not responding" and gives me the option to end it.


It's not enough that we have people in our lives who have to have the last word, a useless piece of technology does too!


Of course we can't make things simple, oh no. The more complicated the better right, cuz that's how the man makes money? I mean, why can't we just keep the hangers that the clothes come on? Wouldn't that save the step of actually purchasing hangers?

What do I do?

It can be confusing to explain what I do being in a psych grad program. I have work, which is referred to as an "assistantship" with the college, so that I can get a paycheck, health insurance, tuition reimbursement. But the assistantship can be with any dept, even one not related to psych. And not only that, these days people aren't guaranteed the same job the entire time they're in the program, and sometimes people have to look for funding from one semester to the next. One year I was a desk assistant, another I was a research assistant. Another year I was teaching undergrads. I also have an internship where I get clinical experience, unpaid. But my program calls this a "fieldplacement." And before the fieldplacement we have a "practicum" that's at the counseling center on campus. And then we have a final year of pre-doc "internship" which is working full-time as a therapist before actually getting the degree. It's like the equivalent of a medical residency, except it happens before the degree is awarded. And of course we take our own classes, have research (thesis, dissertation) really *all* feels like work cuz the classes become less didactic and more research-focused. Like now, I'm done with all my actual classes, so I'll just be taking dissertation credits to keep my full-time student status so I can defer having to pay back loans. So moving forward the focus will be on dissertation, internship applications, and whatever type of assistantship I get.

So needless to say, having so many different hats to wear can make it confusing when explaining what I do to people, even people who I'm close to. It's like:

Person: "Hey, what's up."
Me: "Not much, just got back from work so I'm a bit tired."
Person: "I thought you're a student?"
Me: "I am, it's my assistantship."
Person: "What's that?"
Me: "My job at ASU so I can get tuition and a paycheck."
Person: "Oh. So how much do students get paid for doing therapy?"
Me: "Oh well, I don't do therapy for the assistantship. I'm doing some web management stuff."
Person: "Huh? How's that related to psychology?"
Me: Sigh...

Or here's another scenario:

Me: "I have so much homework for my class!"
Person: "I thought you're interning."
Me: "I am, but I'm also taking a class. The fieldplacement is just 3 credits."
Person: "What's a fieldplacment?"
Me: grumble grumble grumble. "The internship."
Person: "Why do you have to be out in the field for that, don't you see clients on campus?"
Me: ARGH....

Or yet another:

My assistantship supervisor: "So hows' it going, how are you progressing in your progam?
Me: "Well, if all goes well, I can apply for residency next year." (I say residency to her because she's not familiar with psych programs, and I assumed she'd understand it from an MD perspective)
Supervisor: "Oh, I thought you were a resident of the state because we pay your tuition at an in-state rate."

This is all I'm gonna say from now on: (imagine this)

Me: I'm a crazy, helping other crazies, in a crazy system. (as I give the person the finger)
Person: Why are you flipping me off?
Me: I JUST said I'm crazy!!!!


Some parts of recipes just don't make sense, do they? Like a "dash" of pepper. Well, what the hell is just a dash of pepper gonna do to an entire casserole? Or a "pinch" of salt. As salty as Americans like things, I think they mean a LAYER of salt, don't they??

The recipe might as well have "a drop of pee." Will make about the same amount of difference as the pinch of salt!


So we can put a man on the moon, circle Mars, have phones that take pictures, yet how is it that after so many years of biting experience, we still make a mistake of biting our tongues or the insides of our cheeks? I mean here we've made all this progress and we eat at least 3 meals a day, chew gum all the time, yet after who knows how many years of evolution, we still accidentally bite ourselves? I bit the side of my tongue today and if a therapist knew the thoughts and language going through my head, I could've been committed to a mental institution.

So if you think about it, biting someone else would be something we wouldn't hesitate to do, cuz it wouldn't hurt!

"You're an asshole."
"Bite me."

Mashed potatoes

Mashed potatoes: now that's an interesting concept. I wonder how the idea came about. Someone was pissed off, so they took it out on the potatoes. "I'm gonna beat you senseless til you're mush! Then eat ya!"

I like mine with ranch dressing.



Now microwaves have been around for a while now, yes? Then why do people still not know how to maintain them so that they don't gross out their coworkers? The microwave at work looked like someone had thrown up all kinds of nasty shit in it. Obviously covering the food while heating it is not a concept that most have caught on to, or cleaning up after yourself for that matter.

The place doesn't need a sign that says "Please clean up after yourself cuz your mama don't work heya" (imagine that one in a southern accent). It needs:

"My cat is more respectful than you because she eats her own vomit."