Phone calls

I don't know about y'all but leaving phone messages for people is really becoming laborsome. I mean before-hand you have to hear "Please leave a message after the beep. When you are finished with your message, you may hang up, or press # for more options." I mean come oooon! I'm tapping my foot and rolling my eyes thinking that's 5 seconds I'll never get back. I mean does ANYONE not know the *beep system* these days? I think we all know what to do after the beep. So why doesn't it just beep so we can start leaving the message right away? Or at the very least, shorten that stupid message. And gee, thanks for reminding me that I'm *allowed* to hang up when I'm done.

And why do people say, "Hello Felda, it's Karen [or replace with any arbitrary name as you wish] calling." It's Karen calling. It's Karen calling. Do you get my point? Well for Christ's sake I know she's CALLING! What am I going to think, it's Karen knocking on my door? No, she called me on the phone, so I knoooow she's calling! So let's be a little bit more efficient shall we? Picture this:

"Felda, it's Karen."

Simple right? I know who it is and the fact that they left a message says I can call back when I'm able to get the details on why they wanted to talk. Or if they have a detailed message, leave it, but without the word 'calling.' I mean if someone is going to take the time to state the obvious, then at least tell me something I don't know, like

"Felda, it's Karen and I just had a great orgasm. Call back and I'll tell you how I did it."

See, THAT's helpful.

Okay, so that research paper is not happenin' tonight. :)

Sandwiches 2

I should be writing a research paper but thought I'd share this instead:

I really really like sandwiches. And not only do I like to eat them, but I also like the word sandwiches. Say it with me: sandwiches, sandwiches, sandwiches. The 'd' kinda gets silent doesn't it? And something about that pronunciation really makes them seem even more wholesome and scrumptous than they already are.

And AMAZING how satisfying and fun they are, when they're really just 2 slices of bread with stuff in the middle! I love opening up my lunchbox and seeing the sandwich nestled there with the bag of chips and diet cherry pepsi.

Ah, being 8 in a 32 year-old body-it's great!


Ever notice that Elmo *always* talks in the third person? Yes, Elmo is happy you're staying for dinner. Ooooo, Elmo looooves chocolate. So unlike Jimmy the jumper or George Costanza, he speaks that way when he's *not* upset. So what does he say when he's upset?

Perhaps "Oooo, you're a son of a mother fucker!!!"