Friday, October 03, 2008

Hair

Ever wonder why graying hair is one of the first signs of aging? I mean I don't get it. It's not like the hair has to work hard. It just sits there looking cute! I mean do the hair follicles run around the way our legs do? Do they beat to circulate blood through our bodies like the heart does? So WHAT is the excuse for going gray in your 20's?? I mean and in your TWENTIES for crying out loud!

If we aged such that it is more noticeable superficially at the *end* of our lives, we can at least feel good about the way we look for a longer period of time. Then maybe the elderly would get more action in the nursing homes. Hey, you're at more of a risk for a heart attack but at least you can pick up the cute man at the next table over in the dining room.

Hey baby, wanna split a jello with me? Wink wink.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Political debates

Don't political debates (well parts of them anyway) feel like two child siblings fighting? I mean it's not like they truly debate using any real skill; not Lincoln-Douglas nor policy debating like we learn in high school. Instead there's just a lot of "he said, she said" and cross-blaming. And both want to cut taxes in one way or another when paradoxically, they both have to go back to the government (aka "Dad") for funding for their own interests. And this is funding that comes from taxpayers! So it's like:

Sibling 1: You took all the Snickers bars out of the jar!
Sibling 2: I did not!
Sibling 1: You did too!
Sibling 2: Well you took all the Jolly Ranchers and gave them to your friends, and there were none left for me!
Sibling 1: No I didn't! And even if I did, it's cuz last month you took all my M&M's to school for Valentine's Day!

Meanwhile the candy jar is just slowly emptying with no real account of where the candy went, followed by:

Sibling 1 and 2: "Dad!!! Can we have a higher allowance for more candy???"