Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Diving

So I was watching some of the Olympics and thinking to myself, "Self, why do you think there are diving competitions?" And I couldn't come up with answer. I mean why? Why diving of all things to compete in? Isn't it more important that you can swim once you get IN the water? If you get thrown overboard, you don't really have time to do a fancy acrobatic thingy before you get in the water do you? So by then who cares? You have to save your life by swimming to shore, not worry about being SYNCHRONIZED with another person during a dive for crying out loud.

The idea is just amazing to me. I can't swim very well and the thought of diving is beyond me. The idea of going into water head-first is scary, not to mention diving off a high board with an acrobatic twist.

But I think my favorite part of watching those competitions is staring at the sexy abs of those men! I mean, the political candidates would get some great attention from voters by just paying the divers millions to tattoo their names on their chests!

But that sure throws clean elections into the water (no pun intended. Oh who am I kindin', TOTALLY intended) ...

10 comments:

Kenike said...

i think the idea of synchronized diving is stoopid. BUT i love regular diving. it may have something to do with watching pretty boys in speedos make their muscles ripple and then get all wet.

pastamasta said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pastamasta said...

My own pet theory is that the sport of diving originated as an unnecessarily flashy way of escaping from a burning frigate in the process of being boarded by pirates. Obviously, any pirate worth his daily rum ration would be unable to resist the challenge inherently presented thereby, being a pirate and therefore most likely an alpha-male type, and would wish to follow up with a competing dive of even showier proportions. This testosterone-fuelled competitive instinct, honed by hundreds of years of artificial selection for increasingly hard pirates, would lead naturally and inevitably to an escalation of diving theatricality, including multiple somersaults, complicated twist patterns and multi-pirate formation diving. It's quite obvious, when you think about it.

Felda, Jerry Seinfeld's Biggest Fan said...

ha ha, pastamasta, I always LOVE your comments. Thanks dude, much appreciated. And come to think of it, any new recipes you'll be posting anytime soon? ;)

pastamasta said...

Er... well, I do have a rather nice old family recipe for Naval Officer En Flambé, if that's of any interest to your meat-eating acquaintances. It's been handed down through the generations from my great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Captain Pastabarba, scourge of the Calabrian coast and also incidentally a kickass BBQ chef.

Heat said...

the olympics have nothing to do with survival skills, so while it is definitely more important to be able to get yourself out of the water once you're in, that's not what it's all about ... if it was, most of the events would be worthless ... which maybe you think they are ...

Felda, Jerry Seinfeld's Biggest Fan said...

Oh my GAWD Heat! I can't tell if you see the joke in it or not. It's an observation--of course I know it's not about survival skills! Sheesh..can't joke with some people. ;)

pastamasta said...

No you really cant' you LOSER! Diving is a serius sport and you shoud be takin it SERIUSLY. Oh yea and you cant' dive and do summersalts at the same time so your not in a position to juge RIGHT?

[wanker mode off]

Sorry, got a trifle carried away there.

Felda, Jerry Seinfeld's Biggest Fan said...

So RARE to see the wanker mode off! ;)

And since you haven't posted in a while, who's the real loser? huh? huh?

pastamasta said...

Well, HAH, I have too posted, and will be posting again in about two minutes, so, LOO-HOO, SER-HER! ;)