Thursday, March 27, 2008

Tongue twisters

"Say that 10 times fast." We hear that WAY too much don't we?

"Onomatopoeia. Say that 10 times fast."

Well, what if I don't wanna?

I'm not going to. So whatcha gonna do about it?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Holiday lights

I think we're getting overboard with putting up lights on our houses. Because now they're not just at Christmas time, but at all various times: Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Halloween... I mean come on, lights are supposed to help with the holiday feel so if we have them year-round, that takes away from that feel doesn't it? I mean then why not put them up for March Madness, the start of the school year, for Valentine's Day to show your love for your partner (awwwwwwwww). How stupid and cheesy...uh, I mean sweet, how sweet...

Friday, March 21, 2008

Blood suckers

Ah yes, the two types of professionals we mere mortals despise, doctors and lawyers. Blood-sucking parasites as I like to call them (and I put psychologists in this group as well, for the record). They charge hundreds of dollars per hour from people who are often in a vulnerable state. And for what? What do they do? What do they provide? I mean of the three, I can respect the lawyers the most. You want to know why? At least you know that they are in reality billing per hour, meaning they are truly working during that time. They are either doing research or preparing documents.

See, that's the thing. Lawyers actually DO the research and take the TIME to figure out the right answers and what might be the best scenario for you at the time.

But what do psychologists do? They just pull explanations out of their asses. "Well it sounds like what's happening is your issues with your father are being put upon other men." How unique and *profound*, no? Or they ask stupid questions that anyone could ask us without charging us $100/hr like, "Have you tried talking to her?" (Uh, no because I'd rather spend money I don't have to not try the less obvious thing.) They take no true effort or time to actually get to know their patients; they just jump in with their pompous "expertise."

Or what do doctors do? Meet with you for 10 minutes and say, "Here take this medication." Or they give you completely misleading nutrition information. And appallingly, I know of a woman who told her doctor of a lump in her breast, the doctor IGNORES it and says it's nothing, and LATER she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

But we still need to go back to those fuckers don't we? If we are sick, what else can we do? Well actually, we could just go to Vegas. Vegas sucks our money, but it sure as hell is a lot more fun!