False advertising

The GALL of allergy medicines to say on their covers that they take care of sneezing. I've been taking these fucking medications (stronger ones, and prescription ones mind you) to no avail and some mornings I still wake up sneezing like there's no tomorrow. Today I woke up sneezing and uncomfortable (also wondering if my AC's working or just making a lot of goddam noise), which also means I woke up saying "son of a mother-fucking bitch!!!!!" over and over again.

So THAT's what I need to do (if we're suckers for false advertising in this country): though I wouldn't sleep with most out there because they're losers, I should wear a sign anyway that says "yes, I'll have sex with you" in order to get taken out for free dinners.