is a no-win situation for a 29 year-old heterosexual female graduate student. Sorry guys, but it's true. If he's successful, he's an asshole. If he's a nice guy, he's boring. If he's sweet and caring, he doesn't have enough money to be on his own. If he's good-looking, he has no sense of humor. If he's attractive, he's afraid of commitment. If he's sexy, he's chicken-shit. If he's into eastern philosophy, he's an alcoholic. And if he has "all" qualities, he's too intimidated to date an independent, driven and intelligent woman.

If there could only be a pill I could take to become bi-sexual. I'd have so many more options that way: all kinds of great sex and a greater shot of finding a life partner who's worthy.