Clams

"Happy as a clam." I don't hear that expression enough. Happy as a clam. I mean how the hell do we know if clams are happy or not? I'd be interested to see the research that led to that conclusion. I would rather be as happy as a pig. This is no joke, this is my life, my inspiration. I read somewhere that a pig's orgasm lasts for like 30 minutes. So, I would rather be as happy as a pig.