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Grocery store

So I went to the grocery store on the way home from work to buy a bottle of ranch dressing, because I wanted to put ranch dressing on my mashed potatoes at dinner. So while waiting forever in line behind people who realize (after all their food's on the counter, mind you) that they don't have enough money for it, I notice the sign "Under 30, we card." Okay, so, they can tell if someone's under 30? Don't they have to card anyway to know if the person's under 30? So what do they do, ask for the id, see that the person's under 30, give the card back, and THEN card them?

So then I finally get to check out and I sign the slip for my credit card in a hurry because I'm irritated and just want to get out of there and go home. Well, so my signature didn't match the one on my credit card and the guy looks at me suspiciously.

Yeah, THAT'S why I'm going to steal a credit card, to buy a $2 bottle of ranch dressing.

I have bigger plans for the stolen card.